It's been seven years...

I promise that after this blog entry, I'll try to stop with the depressing and philosophical entries for a while.

But when I was checking my email, I noticed that one of the headlines for Yahoo! News was 'D.C. Sniper's Tragic Legacy'. So I clicked.

If you're wonder what this has to do with anything, I'll tell you. When I was in 4th grade, John Allen Muhammad and his accomplice Lee Boyd Malvo killed 9 people on their sniper spree. Many of the shootings were near my home and happening to ordinary people. None of these people did the snipers know. They didn't care about any of these individuals. One of which, was 13. Another, my best friend's mother saw vaccuuming her car at a gas station across the street (in Kensington, MD) from the gas station that she was at. Later after she left, the woman was shot.

I recall a few things about this event. First, I rememeber not really knowing what was going on. When teachers and parents and adminsitrators and police were finally formally presented with what was happening, I remember being taken out of school early. I went to an after school program. There, we were to wait until our parents came. It was much like September 11 in a way, which had only been a year before. Either way, now that I think about it, I'm lucky to have my friends and family (since I have family members who worked close to the Pentagon) still with me.

That day it was like a rumor flying around school. We, the students, had absolutely no idea what was going on. It wasn't snowing. It couldn't possibly be snowing. It was October. And the power wasn't out. Why were we being released early? Why are there room parents escorting kids to their buses?

Of course the teachers weren't sure what to tell us. Again, just like September 11. How do you tell 700 Elementary schoolers that there is a sniper in the area? I don't know.

My mother eventually picked me up, and we went straight home. My mother had always been honest with me, even at a young age. I was always pretty mature for my age anyways. She told me, in a short hand way, what was going on. We stayed in the back of the house, away from the street side of my house, and watched the news. I while my mother called relatives and my father, to tell everyone we were okay, I watched the DC Cheif of Police debreif the public. I can't remember what he said, but I can remember that he was serious.

The second thing I recall was memorizing the number you called if you saw anything suspicious. Especially if it involved a white utilities van. I also remember one of my friend's mother being impressed when I recieted it for her. After a day or two, we were able to go back to school. However, we were in code blue status for a few weeks. You were not allowed to leave you classroom without an adult or enter or leave the school. There were mothers who were apart of the PTA who worked at a table in the front hall. They were to keep track of everyone who entered and left the building. We had indoor recess for a month.

And lastly, I remember lying in bed at night and thinking that if I lied still enough, and the snipers were to come through my neighborhood, they wouldn't be able to tell that I was there. If I did move, or were lying on my side, they would somehow be able to see though my wall and possibly shoot. My parent's room was in the back of the house, and my room was on the street side. I could ask why the sniper would decide to drive through the neighborhoods of Bethesda, but looking at the other places they'd been, I could also ask why not? More over, I would hope that if they did shoot, since my bed isn't too high up (but higher up than normal beds), they might miss me and I'd be okay.

Is that really what a fourth grader should be thinking about? No. Is it what I thought about? Yes. It's sobering to think about.

Tomorrow at 9 PM, John Allen Muhammad will be executed by lethal injection.

The part that troubles me, and where I find myself writing this, is the fact that I only started to think about the sniper attacks the other day. I wondered what had happened to them. Had they been executed? I know that Malvo was only a teenager. And both murders they were having troubling finding a way to try them in a state that still had the death penalty. Muhammad was tried in Virginia and from what I can find, Malvo is still alive and is being tried in Maryland.

I saw a picture of Muhammad. Part of me feels like I'm looking into the eyes of someone who killed my best friend. I feel anger and I feel sadness. But he never killed my best friend. I think the reason I feel those things, is because of the fear he was able to instill over the 5.4 million people in my region. I feel anger because of the things he had me worrying about when I was nine. A nine year old shouldn't be thinking about the possibility of death while they lie in their bed. A home is a safe haven. I feel anger for how he took away that security.And not just from me, but from all of us.

It's been seven years and I still don't know what to think about what he did. Like September 11, I will forever remember where I was during the sniper attacks.

Maybe the families who lost during that time will find a peace with his execution. My heart goes out to all of those families.

Maybe we'll all find some sort of peace.

Love,
Amanda