The Adventure

To anyone, anyone, out there who hasn't given up on this, or me, I just wanted to write something tonight.

I guess, after all, I really have no idea what my direction is supposed to be on this blog. Or even what I want it to be. In away it's funny. There is this quote from Sylvia Plath that I just found that says "Somethings are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go and write it down, and either you over dramaticize it, or underplay it, exagerate the wrong parts, or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to."

I guess I'm just sort of trying to find out who I am. I guess I'm at that age anyways. And I know that I should let me find me, not go looking for me, but I just can't stand not knowing. I want this who adolesense things to be over. I want to know what it's all about and experience life. Something about high school doesn't actually let you.

So I'm going to try this, and maybe it'll lead to some sort of solution, or maybe it won't. We'll have to see.

FIVE things I wish I could say to FIVE different people right now:
1. I really hope I'm becoming someone you're proud of.
2. I think what's making me so angry is the fact that I'm afraid. I'm sorry.
3. I don't tell you that I appreciate everything you do enough.
4. I know it doesn't look like it, but you have no idea how much I want this.
5. It was with you that I discovered my love for writing. Thank you.

TEN things about myself:
1. I'm way too obsessed with the gym. I have to work out atleast five times a week.
2. I hate clowns.
3. I think WAY too much.
4. My mom always told me that I had an over active imagination when I was younger.
5. She also called me a worry wart, which is true.
6. My first serious writing project was to interview my grandfather about is experience in World War 2. I miss him greatly.
7. I'm completely scared of my senior year because I have no idea what's going to happen.
8. I want to go to the University of Maryland with every bone in my body.
9. I'm completely obsessed with Eeyore and Disney.
10. I am a Ravenclaw.

SEVEN ways to win my heart:
1. Take me to London.
2. Be a Ravens fan.
3. Be independent. I can't be with you for every thing. But also, want to be around me.
4. Humility. I can't stand someone who can't laugh at their own mistakes.
5. Intelligence. Also being bilingual helps.
6. Please don't be perfect. Please know you're not perfect.
7. Understand that I'm not perfect.

SEVEN things that cross my mind a lot:
1. Rowing.
2. Working out/when I can go to the gym.
3. What's happening next on Real Housewives of New Jersey and Friday Night Lights.
4. School and College Applications.
5. When my next vacation is.
6. What the last thing I ate was.
7. Love

FOUR things I do before I fall asleep:
1. Brush my teeth and floss.
2. Wash my face.
3. Think about what I'm going to wear tomorrow.
4. Hug atleast two of my Eeyores.

FOUR things I see right now:
1. My iPhone 4.
2. The order forms for my senior portrait.
3. A pencil.
4. Blank CDs.

THREE songs that I listen to often:
1. Anything All Time Low.
2. In My Head by Jason Derulo
3. Slide by The Goo Goo Dolls

TWO things I want to do before I die:
1. Sky dive.
2. Fall in love and be loved in return.

ONE confession:
I worried that believing in myself and in my dreams, in the end, just isn't going to be enough.

Here's to figuring out what this adventure is all about.

But who knows, maybe there is nothing to figure out and it's really about nothing at all.

Somehow, that would be beautiful.