To anyone, anyone, out there who hasn't given up on this, or me, I just wanted to write something tonight.
I guess, after all, I really have no idea what my direction is supposed to be on this blog. Or even what I want it to be. In away it's funny. There is this quote from Sylvia Plath that I just found that says "Somethings are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go and write it down, and either you over dramaticize it, or underplay it, exagerate the wrong parts, or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to."
I guess I'm just sort of trying to find out who I am. I guess I'm at that age anyways. And I know that I should let me find me, not go looking for me, but I just can't stand not knowing. I want this who adolesense things to be over. I want to know what it's all about and experience life. Something about high school doesn't actually let you.
So I'm going to try this, and maybe it'll lead to some sort of solution, or maybe it won't. We'll have to see.
FIVE things I wish I could say to FIVE different people right now:
1. I really hope I'm becoming someone you're proud of.
2. I think what's making me so angry is the fact that I'm afraid. I'm sorry.
3. I don't tell you that I appreciate everything you do enough.
4. I know it doesn't look like it, but you have no idea how much I want this.
5. It was with you that I discovered my love for writing. Thank you.
TEN things about myself:
1. I'm way too obsessed with the gym. I have to work out atleast five times a week.
2. I hate clowns.
3. I think WAY too much.
4. My mom always told me that I had an over active imagination when I was younger.
5. She also called me a worry wart, which is true.
6. My first serious writing project was to interview my grandfather about is experience in World War 2. I miss him greatly.
7. I'm completely scared of my senior year because I have no idea what's going to happen.
8. I want to go to the University of Maryland with every bone in my body.
9. I'm completely obsessed with Eeyore and Disney.
10. I am a Ravenclaw.
SEVEN ways to win my heart:
1. Take me to London.
2. Be a Ravens fan.
3. Be independent. I can't be with you for every thing. But also, want to be around me.
4. Humility. I can't stand someone who can't laugh at their own mistakes.
5. Intelligence. Also being bilingual helps.
6. Please don't be perfect. Please know you're not perfect.
7. Understand that I'm not perfect.
SEVEN things that cross my mind a lot:
1. Rowing.
2. Working out/when I can go to the gym.
3. What's happening next on Real Housewives of New Jersey and Friday Night Lights.
4. School and College Applications.
5. When my next vacation is.
6. What the last thing I ate was.
7. Love
FOUR things I do before I fall asleep:
1. Brush my teeth and floss.
2. Wash my face.
3. Think about what I'm going to wear tomorrow.
4. Hug atleast two of my Eeyores.
FOUR things I see right now:
1. My iPhone 4.
2. The order forms for my senior portrait.
3. A pencil.
4. Blank CDs.
THREE songs that I listen to often:
1. Anything All Time Low.
2. In My Head by Jason Derulo
3. Slide by The Goo Goo Dolls
TWO things I want to do before I die:
1. Sky dive.
2. Fall in love and be loved in return.
ONE confession:
I worried that believing in myself and in my dreams, in the end, just isn't going to be enough.
Here's to figuring out what this adventure is all about.
But who knows, maybe there is nothing to figure out and it's really about nothing at all.
Somehow, that would be beautiful.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The Green Light
So, I don't really have anything music wise to update on, but I know that I haven't just written to write (is that grammatically correct?) lately. I don't know, life's been stressful in a kind of not stressful way. If that makes any sense at all.
I have only one more quarter of junior year, if that counts for anything. I don't know, I think that this year wasn't nearly as stressful academically as I thought it was going to be. Or maybe it was, but I managed to take it in stride.
We finished reading The Great Gatsby in English. And I really liked it. F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda are actually buried in MD. Rockville to be exact. But here was my thought process with the book.
I liked the beginning. I felt that I could really relate to Nick Carraway the entire time, which it's kind of rare when I can really relate to a character. Usually I really hate them. I tend to really hate characters. And I mean, it's not because I necessarily can't see where the character is coming from or anything, it's usually because I find them extremely annoying. Chikako from Thousand Cranes for example (as anyone read that?). I really couldn't stand her, yet I decided to analyze her for my World Literature Paper. Weird. Whatever.
Back to what I was talking about. Nick Carraway. I think the reason I could relate to him so much is because of one of the first lines in the novel.
But back to The Great Gatsby. I noticed that with Nick, although he tries to be a fair man, which I don't blame him for trying to be, it's not like he really tries to work for those who don't have the same chances as him, but he's not acting like Tom and putting down those he feels are inferior. Nick really just sits there. If you notice, although we have his narration, we never really hear Nick stand up for anyone. He just sort of sits. And you'd think that for a man raised on the principle that he must remember that not everyone is as well off as him, he'd be slightly more active. Yet, he doesn't seem to remark on Daisy, Tom, Jordan and all of the other posh East Egg inhabitants' demeanors until the end when he says,
And to get back to my original point, what Nick makes me see in myself is that acknowledging the fact that you may be better off than someone else, just isn't enough. Of course, there is often nothing you can do to fix it, and on that level I understand why Nick is stuck in a position where he cannot enable. But it still bothers me. And I try not to feel bad when I'm reminded that I'm acting like a snob over something I can't help, but I always do.
Another good quote is,
But my cousin, she lives on a ranch that my grandparents own. Her parents are split up, she hates her father's wife, she doesn't go to school regularly (never planned on going to college when she was in school), doesn't really live with her mom or her dad and doesn't have any friends her age. She's only a year older than me too. When she was 15 she had a 21 year old boyfriend and didn't have any girl friend who were her age. All of her 21 year old friends were boys anyways, too. Frankly, I never understood and still don't understand her life.
And through talking to my grandmother and aunts (not her mom, but my dad's sister. Remember, my cousin is my dad's step brother's daughter) and uncles and my dad, I've come to the understanding that I happened to get the better half of that stick. Except, it's not to say that my cousin would necessarily want what I have. Each time she asks me what I up too, my response is always, "I'm really busy with school and crew". Who's to say that she would want that? What Psychology with nature vs. nurture, nurture says that she wouldn't. She's grown up with the ranch and rodeo and without a big city. And that's fine. If she's happy, that's all that matters. But I can't help in my belief that everyone deserves the same oppertunities. And maybe that's where Nick finds conflict. He said that reversing judgements is a matter of infinite hope. Is it my judgement that she would be better if she had what I had? Is that spolied or selfish? Or would it be more fair to just rest with the fact that she's happy and in her environment what she has sufficies.
And I keep thinking "If they have what I had" and it makes me feel like a huge snob. I don't take for granted the fact that my parents can pay for my college education and a financially demanding sport on top of that. I really don't. I'm extremely thankful. And although I don't go to private school (I almost did), my public school has the resources of a private school. I do live in one of the most expensive counties in the country.
I also realize that those things I also cannot help. And that's when decencies are parcelled out unequally. But like Nick, I want "the world to be in uniform and at a sort of moral attention forever".
And frankly I hate when people whom I've just met from other places tell me about the kinds of classes I'm taking. I hate having to describe what the International Bacceloriate Programme is. It makes me uncomfortable because not only does my school have pretty much every AP class under the sun, it has an international equivilant of AP classes too. And it's not uncommon for someone to be full AP or full IB. I take both. And at my school honors classes are on level. I remember being embarrassed to be taking honors NSL instead of AP NSL like my friends (which I now understand was a good decision on my part).
I know that I will never fully understand why it is that I feel conflicted over what I have. I know I shouldn't. I'm probably the stereotype most people try and avoid, and I know that I tried to avoid for most of middle school (but what did I know then anyways).
What's unfortunate is that even after writting all of this, and the fact that I've taken a book to trying to help figure out who it is that I really am is very classic of me, I'm still feeling the same as I did when I started. This is probably my queue to stop writting about this now.
Maybe reason will come in time. Or it won't.
But I'll leave you with this, just like Fitzgerald did:
Not Another Fan Girl,
Amanda
I have only one more quarter of junior year, if that counts for anything. I don't know, I think that this year wasn't nearly as stressful academically as I thought it was going to be. Or maybe it was, but I managed to take it in stride.
We finished reading The Great Gatsby in English. And I really liked it. F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda are actually buried in MD. Rockville to be exact. But here was my thought process with the book.
I liked the beginning. I felt that I could really relate to Nick Carraway the entire time, which it's kind of rare when I can really relate to a character. Usually I really hate them. I tend to really hate characters. And I mean, it's not because I necessarily can't see where the character is coming from or anything, it's usually because I find them extremely annoying. Chikako from Thousand Cranes for example (as anyone read that?). I really couldn't stand her, yet I decided to analyze her for my World Literature Paper. Weird. Whatever.
Back to what I was talking about. Nick Carraway. I think the reason I could relate to him so much is because of one of the first lines in the novel.
"Whenever you feel like criticizing any one," he told me, "just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had."I don't know, and I hope that I don't sound like a snob, even though I probably will, but somehow I feel like I'm always trying to remind myself of that same fact. And not necessarily because I feel priviledged. Mainly because when I start freaking out about college and whether I'm going to get in, I forget that AP and IB classes aren't offered at every school and not every school is ranked in the top 100 schools in the country. And I guess I just forget that I go to a school with extremely competitive students. All of which I believe are smart (okay, maybe not all, but the ones that try) and I believe that I am also smart. And I tend to forget that a C in an IB class isn't really failing. I still love how my guidance counselor at school when looking at my transcript and noticing that I had one C that stood out, said, "Well, it's not like I could do it. So you're doing a good job." Confience. Hah.
But back to The Great Gatsby. I noticed that with Nick, although he tries to be a fair man, which I don't blame him for trying to be, it's not like he really tries to work for those who don't have the same chances as him, but he's not acting like Tom and putting down those he feels are inferior. Nick really just sits there. If you notice, although we have his narration, we never really hear Nick stand up for anyone. He just sort of sits. And you'd think that for a man raised on the principle that he must remember that not everyone is as well off as him, he'd be slightly more active. Yet, he doesn't seem to remark on Daisy, Tom, Jordan and all of the other posh East Egg inhabitants' demeanors until the end when he says,
"They were careless people, Tom and Daisy-- They smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money and their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made..."I guess Nick can take pride in the fact that he isn't like Tom and Daisy. It is true that he does reach out to Gatsby and is able to call himself Gatsby's friend at the end. But there was so much about Gatsby that still makes me wonder if he was really Nick's friend in return. Or if he was just in it for Daisy. After all, Gatsby threw lavish parties in the hopes that Daisy would show up. All of the lies about Gatsby that Nick probably isn't sure of, and I do feel bad for possibly scorning their friendship, but it makes me wonder, how much was Gatsby invested. He himself didn't really have any friends. You could call Meyer Wolfsheim a friend, but even he doesn't show up for Gatsby's funeral. He says (another brilliant line from Fitzgerald),
"'Let us learn to show out friendship for a man when he is alive and not after he is dead,' he suggested. 'After that, my own rule is to let everything alone.'"And that seems slightly characteristic of the people Gatsby surrounded himself with, except Nick. Daisy proved to be unreliable. However, I can't really blame her. Realistically speaking, Gatsby showed up in her life after five years, wanting her to immediately be in love with him again. Daisy had Pammy, Tom and her child and is married to Tom. Gatsby, who proves himself to be somewhat of a hopeless romantic and definitely trying to personify the american dream, especially after saying,
"'I wouldn't ask too much of her,' I ventured. 'You can't repeat the past.'
'Can't repeat the past?' he cried incredulously. 'Why of course you can!'"And I do realize that this is a stretch and I'm probably getting carried away with myself as I often do. But, what I'm trying to say is that, Nick doesn't do anything. There is Gatsby always searching for that one way to gain back what he used to have, never being satisfied with what is already there, and there is Tom and Daisy, who in a different way, aren't satisfied with themselves either. It's all sort of twisted. Nick, although he says it of the Buchanans, is also careless.
And to get back to my original point, what Nick makes me see in myself is that acknowledging the fact that you may be better off than someone else, just isn't enough. Of course, there is often nothing you can do to fix it, and on that level I understand why Nick is stuck in a position where he cannot enable. But it still bothers me. And I try not to feel bad when I'm reminded that I'm acting like a snob over something I can't help, but I always do.
Another good quote is,
"Reversing judgements is a matter of infintie hope. I am still a little afraid of missing something if I forget that, as my father snobbishly suggested, and I snobbishly repeat, a sense of the fundemental decencies are parcelled out unequally at birth."I can't help but agree. I'm sure that someone else, on the other end of the spectrum as me would too. And this is where I start to feel bad, and may I say that I don't entend to sound so degrading or snobbish when I explain this, but I have an example. My cousin lives in what I like to call 'Hickville USA' or 'Podunk California' and it's true. Her MySpace will back me up. But her life and my life, although we come from the same family (which is by marriage, I should add), our lives couldn't be more different. It is true that my dad did join the Air Force right out of high school and then went to college after four years. For the most part (and with probably a majority of my mom's influence since she's from Berkeley), that is why I live in DC. My dad did always want more than what was going to be offered to him in Humbolt County, but if he hadn't I'm sure that I would not be here today, or someon equivilant of me would. Who knows. I won't get into that.
But my cousin, she lives on a ranch that my grandparents own. Her parents are split up, she hates her father's wife, she doesn't go to school regularly (never planned on going to college when she was in school), doesn't really live with her mom or her dad and doesn't have any friends her age. She's only a year older than me too. When she was 15 she had a 21 year old boyfriend and didn't have any girl friend who were her age. All of her 21 year old friends were boys anyways, too. Frankly, I never understood and still don't understand her life.
And through talking to my grandmother and aunts (not her mom, but my dad's sister. Remember, my cousin is my dad's step brother's daughter) and uncles and my dad, I've come to the understanding that I happened to get the better half of that stick. Except, it's not to say that my cousin would necessarily want what I have. Each time she asks me what I up too, my response is always, "I'm really busy with school and crew". Who's to say that she would want that? What Psychology with nature vs. nurture, nurture says that she wouldn't. She's grown up with the ranch and rodeo and without a big city. And that's fine. If she's happy, that's all that matters. But I can't help in my belief that everyone deserves the same oppertunities. And maybe that's where Nick finds conflict. He said that reversing judgements is a matter of infinite hope. Is it my judgement that she would be better if she had what I had? Is that spolied or selfish? Or would it be more fair to just rest with the fact that she's happy and in her environment what she has sufficies.
And I keep thinking "If they have what I had" and it makes me feel like a huge snob. I don't take for granted the fact that my parents can pay for my college education and a financially demanding sport on top of that. I really don't. I'm extremely thankful. And although I don't go to private school (I almost did), my public school has the resources of a private school. I do live in one of the most expensive counties in the country.
I also realize that those things I also cannot help. And that's when decencies are parcelled out unequally. But like Nick, I want "the world to be in uniform and at a sort of moral attention forever".
And frankly I hate when people whom I've just met from other places tell me about the kinds of classes I'm taking. I hate having to describe what the International Bacceloriate Programme is. It makes me uncomfortable because not only does my school have pretty much every AP class under the sun, it has an international equivilant of AP classes too. And it's not uncommon for someone to be full AP or full IB. I take both. And at my school honors classes are on level. I remember being embarrassed to be taking honors NSL instead of AP NSL like my friends (which I now understand was a good decision on my part).
I know that I will never fully understand why it is that I feel conflicted over what I have. I know I shouldn't. I'm probably the stereotype most people try and avoid, and I know that I tried to avoid for most of middle school (but what did I know then anyways).
What's unfortunate is that even after writting all of this, and the fact that I've taken a book to trying to help figure out who it is that I really am is very classic of me, I'm still feeling the same as I did when I started. This is probably my queue to stop writting about this now.
Maybe reason will come in time. Or it won't.
But I'll leave you with this, just like Fitzgerald did:
"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
Not Another Fan Girl,
Amanda
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
You almost had me there, Alice.
I'm going to stop apologizing for my lack of posts, because it's really my fault. And I also start to feel like Julie from that Julia Child movie. And I really don't want to sound like that because it sounds stupid, frankly.
So, I recieved an email from someone asking about the new Alice in Wonderland soundtrack, Almost Alice.
And I'm going to be completely honest.
The only song I've actually bought off the soundtrack was All Time Low's "Painting Flowers". Of course I bought it. I mean, it's All Time Low. Duh.
Except I'm going to explain myself.
The reason I bought only the All Time Low song is because, despite being a huge fan, I really looked at the list and (since I had already listened to a few of the songs on line), decided that I really didn't want the others.
And now that I explained that I feel like it was a stupid thing to feel like I have to explain.
And no, "Painting Flowers" is not my favorite All Time Low song at all. Not even in the least. I just feel the urge to have everyone, or close to everyone, of their songs. Is that so terrible?
However, I do think that they did a job well done. Whether they wrote it or not (since SOMETIMES, and I'm saying sometimes because when artist are put on soundtracks for a particular movie, like Alice in Wonderland where there is a distinct theme in the songs for the album, the writing process isn't entirely theirs), they did a good job with it. I can still tell it's All Time Low, but it does not sounds like the rest of their songs. If anything, it has sort of a darker undertone to the song. It's still a good song of their's though.
And I'm also going to admit for an excuse, that since iTunes jacked it prices up (ahem...), I'm really careful about what songs I'm buying. I mean, $1.29 will add up a little quicker than $0.99.
However, maybe with some convincing, I will look more into the album. I know I listened to the song "Alice" by Avril Lavigne and it really takes a lot from me to listen to her screaming. And in that song, it's not like her other stuff where it's like, in tune screaming. This is like pitching screaming. It's hard on my ears. Sorry.
Okay, now I really have to apologize because this is turning out to be a really terrible entry.
On Owl City, I really do like the song that is on the soundtrack. I do have it because it is a part of Owl City's I Must Be Dreaming album which is really, really good. I like it a lot better than his new stuff. I might do an entry on I Must Be Dreaming at a different date, but we'll see.
The Metro Station song "Where's My Angel" really just makes me want to shoot myself in the head. You guys know how I feel about all Metro Station, and there has yet to be a song that has proved me wrong about them. I am still giving them a chance, but they're really doing a poor job. Especially now that Anthony and Blake are no longer apart of the band? Am I correct on that? If someone could follow that up, that'd be great.
I actually did just buy the song "The Poison" by AAR. It's still AAR, as the All Time Low song is still All Time Low, except it's better, in a way. Or it's still different. I think that's what I'm trying to say. It's good. I like it. It kind of has that "Sun Kid" feel to it, if you know what I mean. If you don't, it's okay. All American Rejects have always done a good job at relaxing me. I don't know why I find this song relaxing. Probably the beginning. But AAR does that sort of soft and then hard and fast transition. As I said, I'm not a musician so my musical vocabulary sucks.
The Plain White T's song "Welcome to Mystery" reminds me of the Beatles by a lot. It has that vibe that a lot of songs from their Magical Mystery Tour album have, I think.
I might come back to this soundtrack. We'll see. It's kind of takes 30 seconds of a song to convince me anyways. So, again, we'll see.
I have my tickets for the AP Tour 2010. Do you? You better. :] Abby and I are going. the DC date is April 25th I think. It's the day after MD State regatta, so I better have something to party about. Anyways, I'll definitely have pictures (probably shitty ones) and a blog for that.
I can't wait to see Alice in Wonderland.
I think that's my conclusion.
Looking at the Soundtrack cover gets me excited. It's so, for lack of a much better word, awesome.
Not Just Another Fan Girl Opinion.
Your resident fangirl,
Amanda
So, I recieved an email from someone asking about the new Alice in Wonderland soundtrack, Almost Alice.
And I'm going to be completely honest.
The only song I've actually bought off the soundtrack was All Time Low's "Painting Flowers". Of course I bought it. I mean, it's All Time Low. Duh.
Except I'm going to explain myself.
The reason I bought only the All Time Low song is because, despite being a huge fan, I really looked at the list and (since I had already listened to a few of the songs on line), decided that I really didn't want the others.
And now that I explained that I feel like it was a stupid thing to feel like I have to explain.
And no, "Painting Flowers" is not my favorite All Time Low song at all. Not even in the least. I just feel the urge to have everyone, or close to everyone, of their songs. Is that so terrible?
However, I do think that they did a job well done. Whether they wrote it or not (since SOMETIMES, and I'm saying sometimes because when artist are put on soundtracks for a particular movie, like Alice in Wonderland where there is a distinct theme in the songs for the album, the writing process isn't entirely theirs), they did a good job with it. I can still tell it's All Time Low, but it does not sounds like the rest of their songs. If anything, it has sort of a darker undertone to the song. It's still a good song of their's though.
And I'm also going to admit for an excuse, that since iTunes jacked it prices up (ahem...), I'm really careful about what songs I'm buying. I mean, $1.29 will add up a little quicker than $0.99.
However, maybe with some convincing, I will look more into the album. I know I listened to the song "Alice" by Avril Lavigne and it really takes a lot from me to listen to her screaming. And in that song, it's not like her other stuff where it's like, in tune screaming. This is like pitching screaming. It's hard on my ears. Sorry.
Okay, now I really have to apologize because this is turning out to be a really terrible entry.
On Owl City, I really do like the song that is on the soundtrack. I do have it because it is a part of Owl City's I Must Be Dreaming album which is really, really good. I like it a lot better than his new stuff. I might do an entry on I Must Be Dreaming at a different date, but we'll see.
The Metro Station song "Where's My Angel" really just makes me want to shoot myself in the head. You guys know how I feel about all Metro Station, and there has yet to be a song that has proved me wrong about them. I am still giving them a chance, but they're really doing a poor job. Especially now that Anthony and Blake are no longer apart of the band? Am I correct on that? If someone could follow that up, that'd be great.
I actually did just buy the song "The Poison" by AAR. It's still AAR, as the All Time Low song is still All Time Low, except it's better, in a way. Or it's still different. I think that's what I'm trying to say. It's good. I like it. It kind of has that "Sun Kid" feel to it, if you know what I mean. If you don't, it's okay. All American Rejects have always done a good job at relaxing me. I don't know why I find this song relaxing. Probably the beginning. But AAR does that sort of soft and then hard and fast transition. As I said, I'm not a musician so my musical vocabulary sucks.
The Plain White T's song "Welcome to Mystery" reminds me of the Beatles by a lot. It has that vibe that a lot of songs from their Magical Mystery Tour album have, I think.
I might come back to this soundtrack. We'll see. It's kind of takes 30 seconds of a song to convince me anyways. So, again, we'll see.
I have my tickets for the AP Tour 2010. Do you? You better. :] Abby and I are going. the DC date is April 25th I think. It's the day after MD State regatta, so I better have something to party about. Anyways, I'll definitely have pictures (probably shitty ones) and a blog for that.
I can't wait to see Alice in Wonderland.
I think that's my conclusion.
Looking at the Soundtrack cover gets me excited. It's so, for lack of a much better word, awesome.
Not Just Another Fan Girl Opinion.
Your resident fangirl,
Amanda
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
It's not about jumping over the pond. It's about jumping from lily pad, to lily pad.
Hello out there!
To anyone who is still reading, I am back. I'm sorry it took so long for another update. I suck. Anyways, I don't have a lot of homework, so I actually have time to write a new blog entry.
Hm... What to talk about, what to talk about...
Well, to start off I had a good break. The last two weeks of school have been a little hard to get into the swing off, but you know. That's school.
Anyways, I'm going to talk about the new We The Kings album, as I promised. Except I can kind of see you guys being like "And? So?"
And I don't really have an answer for you.
Basically, I really like Smile Kid. I thought it was really good and I was really proud of it. I can't stop listening to it.I'm actually listening to it right now, but that's to help me write this. :P
So here's the break down:
My favorite songs are She Takes Me High (probably the most anticipated for me, since they played it on the GK Tour. Was anyone else excited to here that song finalized?), Promise the Stars, Spin, What You Do To Me and the acoustics. I just love the acoustics. They always sound so good. Something about them makes me love the song even more. I think it's the fact that you can hear the song so much better. If that makes sense...
I think what I'm trying to say is that it's so much more raw, and I love hearing Travis Clark's voice like that. I love his voice.
I really love the chorus of Promise the Stars. It's so catchy and I like listening to it while I walk to school in the morning (in the cold. If any of you have been to Maryland in the winter, you know that bitter, windy, dry cold I'm talking about).
Again with Spin I love the chorus. But I also love the lyrics. It's very up beat, which isn't exactly different from We The Kings usually. And I mean, that's not a bad thing. I'm extremely happy with the up beat songs. But my favorite lyric is "Even if we fall we'll be okay/ grab hold of your heart". Personally, I know I need that reminder that everything is going to be okay. I think we all need to spend a little more time living in the moment. I know I do. As Ms. Liz calls me "Little Miss Perfectionist". All too true...
I also forgot that one of my absolute favorites (did I already say that? If I did, then this is in addition. I do that a lot...) is The Story of Your Life. I read on altpress.com, an interview about the album with Travis (which I can't seem to dig up... Damn...). He said his inspiration for The Story of Your Life was imagining being written in a girl's diary. If you listen to the song, you get it. But I, again, love the lyrics. "Nothing ever really makes sense/ if you keep searching you'll find me/ hidden in side you."
Okay, and I'm going to get really kind of, philosophical on you, but "me" doesn't have to be a guy. I mean, in my case it wouldn't be (besides the fact that there isn't a guy in my life at the moment. Not even remotely.). "You're shaking/ you're not sure of the ending". I think, to me, this song speaks to the uncertainty that we all have. Whether it be school, a guy, your future in general. I mean, I hate thinking about my future. I really don't like talking about it. It freaks me out. But, that "me", that's the strength (for lack of a better word) you have inside of you. Nothing ever really makes sense, but just keep going because you'll find that reason, or that strength to make sense of everything. We're not doomed. None is. It's just a matter of trying to make sense of everything that is happening. And nothing is going to make sense at the moment. But it will.
Okay, and now for the songs I really didn't care for.
I don't know if you saw this one coming, but I'm not a huge fan of We'll Be A Dream.
I can hear you now and it's NOT because I dislike Demi Lovato and feel that she's ruining one of my favorite bands. It's not that at all. If anything, I respect Demi Lovato. I think that it's reasonable that she did a song with WTK. That's fine. She has a good voice and rock seems to fit her. I just don't understand why a girl who is 16 (my age) would want to be shooting for super stardome right now. I mean, it's the same with Miley Cyrus. I think it's rediculous. But why I like Demi more than Miley is because Demi hasn't been in a music video looking like she should be in Southwest DC standing on a street corner.
You get where I'm going.
Anyways, I'm just not a huge fan of the song. Not into that particular power ballad. There is something about it that doesn't sit right with me. Demi does kick Travis' vocal ass in this song, which he admitted to in AP. Still, I'm just not in love with the song. At all. Not in love with the lyrics and the composition I'm just not falling over for.
Rain Falls Down is also not a favorite, except I like it more than We'll Be A Dream. I'm just not in love with the We The Kings ballads. I mean, this is their sophomore album, so there is plenty of time for progress on anything.
Oh, and for all you that read my blog on the WBC at my school or know about WBC picketing at the ATL concert (I feel that that would be more of you...) here is a funny little clip, making fun of Sherly Phelps. :]
To anyone who is still reading, I am back. I'm sorry it took so long for another update. I suck. Anyways, I don't have a lot of homework, so I actually have time to write a new blog entry.
Hm... What to talk about, what to talk about...
Well, to start off I had a good break. The last two weeks of school have been a little hard to get into the swing off, but you know. That's school.
Anyways, I'm going to talk about the new We The Kings album, as I promised. Except I can kind of see you guys being like "And? So?"
And I don't really have an answer for you.
Basically, I really like Smile Kid. I thought it was really good and I was really proud of it. I can't stop listening to it.I'm actually listening to it right now, but that's to help me write this. :P
So here's the break down:
My favorite songs are She Takes Me High (probably the most anticipated for me, since they played it on the GK Tour. Was anyone else excited to here that song finalized?), Promise the Stars, Spin, What You Do To Me and the acoustics. I just love the acoustics. They always sound so good. Something about them makes me love the song even more. I think it's the fact that you can hear the song so much better. If that makes sense...
I think what I'm trying to say is that it's so much more raw, and I love hearing Travis Clark's voice like that. I love his voice.
I really love the chorus of Promise the Stars. It's so catchy and I like listening to it while I walk to school in the morning (in the cold. If any of you have been to Maryland in the winter, you know that bitter, windy, dry cold I'm talking about).
Again with Spin I love the chorus. But I also love the lyrics. It's very up beat, which isn't exactly different from We The Kings usually. And I mean, that's not a bad thing. I'm extremely happy with the up beat songs. But my favorite lyric is "Even if we fall we'll be okay/ grab hold of your heart". Personally, I know I need that reminder that everything is going to be okay. I think we all need to spend a little more time living in the moment. I know I do. As Ms. Liz calls me "Little Miss Perfectionist". All too true...
I also forgot that one of my absolute favorites (did I already say that? If I did, then this is in addition. I do that a lot...) is The Story of Your Life. I read on altpress.com, an interview about the album with Travis (which I can't seem to dig up... Damn...). He said his inspiration for The Story of Your Life was imagining being written in a girl's diary. If you listen to the song, you get it. But I, again, love the lyrics. "Nothing ever really makes sense/ if you keep searching you'll find me/ hidden in side you."
Okay, and I'm going to get really kind of, philosophical on you, but "me" doesn't have to be a guy. I mean, in my case it wouldn't be (besides the fact that there isn't a guy in my life at the moment. Not even remotely.). "You're shaking/ you're not sure of the ending". I think, to me, this song speaks to the uncertainty that we all have. Whether it be school, a guy, your future in general. I mean, I hate thinking about my future. I really don't like talking about it. It freaks me out. But, that "me", that's the strength (for lack of a better word) you have inside of you. Nothing ever really makes sense, but just keep going because you'll find that reason, or that strength to make sense of everything. We're not doomed. None is. It's just a matter of trying to make sense of everything that is happening. And nothing is going to make sense at the moment. But it will.
Okay, and now for the songs I really didn't care for.
I don't know if you saw this one coming, but I'm not a huge fan of We'll Be A Dream.
I can hear you now and it's NOT because I dislike Demi Lovato and feel that she's ruining one of my favorite bands. It's not that at all. If anything, I respect Demi Lovato. I think that it's reasonable that she did a song with WTK. That's fine. She has a good voice and rock seems to fit her. I just don't understand why a girl who is 16 (my age) would want to be shooting for super stardome right now. I mean, it's the same with Miley Cyrus. I think it's rediculous. But why I like Demi more than Miley is because Demi hasn't been in a music video looking like she should be in Southwest DC standing on a street corner.
You get where I'm going.
Anyways, I'm just not a huge fan of the song. Not into that particular power ballad. There is something about it that doesn't sit right with me. Demi does kick Travis' vocal ass in this song, which he admitted to in AP. Still, I'm just not in love with the song. At all. Not in love with the lyrics and the composition I'm just not falling over for.
Rain Falls Down is also not a favorite, except I like it more than We'll Be A Dream. I'm just not in love with the We The Kings ballads. I mean, this is their sophomore album, so there is plenty of time for progress on anything.
Oh, and for all you that read my blog on the WBC at my school or know about WBC picketing at the ATL concert (I feel that that would be more of you...) here is a funny little clip, making fun of Sherly Phelps. :]
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Hi!
So I'm SO sorry about my lack of posting. If any of you are still out there reading this... Oh God, none of you are, are you.
Anyways, point is, I'm in California right now and spending the holidays with my family, and I can't give you guys a worthy blog update. And the bad news is that I'm going to have to do it when I get home, which will be in 2010.
Trust me, I'll try to make it the best blog post you've seen from me. 2010 will come with definite pizzaz.
I'm so sorry if I've left a lot of you hanging and it's my fault if any of you have left.
But I hope that all of you have a safe and wonderful holiday with your family and friends.
See you all (or write to you all) in the new year! (Wow, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that this is the end of the decade. I still can't believe that it's been ten years since 2000...)
My love as always,
Amanda
So I'm SO sorry about my lack of posting. If any of you are still out there reading this... Oh God, none of you are, are you.
Anyways, point is, I'm in California right now and spending the holidays with my family, and I can't give you guys a worthy blog update. And the bad news is that I'm going to have to do it when I get home, which will be in 2010.
Trust me, I'll try to make it the best blog post you've seen from me. 2010 will come with definite pizzaz.
I'm so sorry if I've left a lot of you hanging and it's my fault if any of you have left.
But I hope that all of you have a safe and wonderful holiday with your family and friends.
See you all (or write to you all) in the new year! (Wow, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that this is the end of the decade. I still can't believe that it's been ten years since 2000...)
My love as always,
Amanda
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tree Analogies.
Wow, I'm really sorry that I haven't updated in a while. Life is starting to get crazy again. And I actually shouldn't be blogging at the moment because I have to finish my AP Psych homework, but I feel bad.
And this is probably the worst blog I will ever write (or just the beginning, who knows).
So I guess I'm going to bore you for a few paragraphs.
My lower right abdomin has been killing me lately. I'm not sure if it's appendacitis or not. I really have no clue. Maggie thinks I should be at the hospital right now, since it isn't going away. My parents are hesitant to call it appendacitis and I really have no idea what to think. I just want the pain over with. If it IS appendacitis, then they can take my appendix out no problem. Surgery doesn't scare me really. Plus, how cool would it be to have a scar? And be like "Yeah, they took my appendix out. You have them, I don't. Look who's cool now." Haha... Anyways.
Um, crew has started back up again. Practice isn't as far away and has difficult to get to, so hopefully I'll have more time. Hopefully...
The idea of trying to decide on what colleges I want to apply to is freaking me out a bit. I really only know that I want to go to University of Maryland. My parents (well, atleast my mom) are trying to drill into my brain that it is a HUGE school. Yes, I get that their Undergrad is 25,000 (give a little, maybe). I get that I will be in lecture halls with like 40-50 others. I get it. I think my mom wants me to go to a smaller school. I sort of understand why, but then I don't. I want to go to a big school. It just seems like every school I suggest, there is a con to it. I mean, there are ALWAYS going to be cons. But atleast just tell me if you think it's a good decision. Don't be passive and be like "Yeah that's a great choice, but it's a huge school." Yes or no, please.
On a music front...
I listened to the 30 second bits of Bob Dylan's Christmas album last night. OH MY GOD, I could NOT stop laughing! Mental image the entire time was a drunken mall Santa chasing little kids with a 40 oz in his hand and a cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth. Oh boy, it's a riot! I'm tempted to buy it for my dad as a joke present. But I'd probably have to buy him something else, because I know that he doesn't want that.
Also, Family Force 5 is putting out a Christmas album. I'll see if I can get more on that later. That should be interesting. I love them. Any concert of theirs in a dance party. Like, no moshing. Full on dance party. At the AP Tour 2009, probably the most fun I've had at the 9:30 club. Well, after my last All Time Low concert. THAT was the most fun I've had at the 9:30 Club, by far.
Alright, so I'm going to rag on Metro Station some more. (Anyone who follows me on twitter will see that I've been ragging on them all day. BTW, my twitter is www.twitter.com/anllna93 Follow me.) I was reading through the Alternative Press website and I saw that they're putting out a Kelsey EP? I'm going to quote Tim Karan on this: "it's been two years since that last record and they couldn't come up with a better line than 'It's your body to me you'll give/So come on, let's live?'" First off, you guys are probably really confused by where that came from.
To start with just talking about the EP, the new remix of 'Kelsey' sounds like shit to me. It's basically like all their other remixes. If they had left 'Kelsey' alone, I would have been fine. But the remix is just a slowed down version with a beat.
HOWEVER, I really like the acoustic of 'Kelsey'. I think that's how 'Kelsey' needs to be done. The original version and the acoustic were all that needed to happen to the song. (Let's also keep in mind that 3 of the 5 songs on the EP are 'Kelsey' and two renditions of it. Great job guys... I'm sure that's what the fans want. Fifteen different versions of one song...)
'Japanese Girl' just screams healthy relationship... Let's segway back to where I quotes Tim Karan. In 'Japanese Girl', one of the lyrics is "It's your body to me you'll give/ So come on, let's live."
You can read the rest of the lyrics here for yourself.
Basically my point is, Metro Station has in no way, and in my fan girl opinion, progressed. 'Japanese Girl' sounds like everything off of their debut album. It's the same techno/alternative stuff (more techno than alternative).
I do not doubt, that if you liked their debut album, and are still a fan of Metro Station, that you won't be shake it to this one (Haha, like my pun? Get it? Okay, I guess not...). However, this is definitely not out of their comfort zone. Still more techno pop beats and degrading lyrics towards women. Sorry guys.
Also, I don't get the whole image. Mason Musso is reminding me of the keyboardist from Spinal Tap. And that movie was supposed to be a joke. I wonder what that's saying about Metro Station.
I also like to remind myself, that since they are on tour with Miley Cyrus, the girls who are like "I saw them last night! They played Japanese Girl!" bought a ticket to a Miley Cyrus concert.
Bravo.
Getting off my high horse now...
I'm so very excited for the new We The Kings album. The songs that they've put out so far, are sort of similar to their debut album. I'm hoping for some different stuff. If you would like an analogy, if We The Kings is the tree, I'd like to see a twig on an already strong branch that is frequently used for climbing.
Did that work for you?
Good.
Alright, I have to get back to studying!
Much love always,
Amanda
And this is probably the worst blog I will ever write (or just the beginning, who knows).
So I guess I'm going to bore you for a few paragraphs.
My lower right abdomin has been killing me lately. I'm not sure if it's appendacitis or not. I really have no clue. Maggie thinks I should be at the hospital right now, since it isn't going away. My parents are hesitant to call it appendacitis and I really have no idea what to think. I just want the pain over with. If it IS appendacitis, then they can take my appendix out no problem. Surgery doesn't scare me really. Plus, how cool would it be to have a scar? And be like "Yeah, they took my appendix out. You have them, I don't. Look who's cool now." Haha... Anyways.
Um, crew has started back up again. Practice isn't as far away and has difficult to get to, so hopefully I'll have more time. Hopefully...
The idea of trying to decide on what colleges I want to apply to is freaking me out a bit. I really only know that I want to go to University of Maryland. My parents (well, atleast my mom) are trying to drill into my brain that it is a HUGE school. Yes, I get that their Undergrad is 25,000 (give a little, maybe). I get that I will be in lecture halls with like 40-50 others. I get it. I think my mom wants me to go to a smaller school. I sort of understand why, but then I don't. I want to go to a big school. It just seems like every school I suggest, there is a con to it. I mean, there are ALWAYS going to be cons. But atleast just tell me if you think it's a good decision. Don't be passive and be like "Yeah that's a great choice, but it's a huge school." Yes or no, please.
On a music front...
I listened to the 30 second bits of Bob Dylan's Christmas album last night. OH MY GOD, I could NOT stop laughing! Mental image the entire time was a drunken mall Santa chasing little kids with a 40 oz in his hand and a cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth. Oh boy, it's a riot! I'm tempted to buy it for my dad as a joke present. But I'd probably have to buy him something else, because I know that he doesn't want that.
Also, Family Force 5 is putting out a Christmas album. I'll see if I can get more on that later. That should be interesting. I love them. Any concert of theirs in a dance party. Like, no moshing. Full on dance party. At the AP Tour 2009, probably the most fun I've had at the 9:30 club. Well, after my last All Time Low concert. THAT was the most fun I've had at the 9:30 Club, by far.
Alright, so I'm going to rag on Metro Station some more. (Anyone who follows me on twitter will see that I've been ragging on them all day. BTW, my twitter is www.twitter.com/anllna93 Follow me.) I was reading through the Alternative Press website and I saw that they're putting out a Kelsey EP? I'm going to quote Tim Karan on this: "it's been two years since that last record and they couldn't come up with a better line than 'It's your body to me you'll give/So come on, let's live?'" First off, you guys are probably really confused by where that came from.
To start with just talking about the EP, the new remix of 'Kelsey' sounds like shit to me. It's basically like all their other remixes. If they had left 'Kelsey' alone, I would have been fine. But the remix is just a slowed down version with a beat.
HOWEVER, I really like the acoustic of 'Kelsey'. I think that's how 'Kelsey' needs to be done. The original version and the acoustic were all that needed to happen to the song. (Let's also keep in mind that 3 of the 5 songs on the EP are 'Kelsey' and two renditions of it. Great job guys... I'm sure that's what the fans want. Fifteen different versions of one song...)
'Japanese Girl' just screams healthy relationship... Let's segway back to where I quotes Tim Karan. In 'Japanese Girl', one of the lyrics is "It's your body to me you'll give/ So come on, let's live."
You can read the rest of the lyrics here for yourself.
Basically my point is, Metro Station has in no way, and in my fan girl opinion, progressed. 'Japanese Girl' sounds like everything off of their debut album. It's the same techno/alternative stuff (more techno than alternative).
I do not doubt, that if you liked their debut album, and are still a fan of Metro Station, that you won't be shake it to this one (Haha, like my pun? Get it? Okay, I guess not...). However, this is definitely not out of their comfort zone. Still more techno pop beats and degrading lyrics towards women. Sorry guys.
Also, I don't get the whole image. Mason Musso is reminding me of the keyboardist from Spinal Tap. And that movie was supposed to be a joke. I wonder what that's saying about Metro Station.
I also like to remind myself, that since they are on tour with Miley Cyrus, the girls who are like "I saw them last night! They played Japanese Girl!" bought a ticket to a Miley Cyrus concert.
Bravo.
Getting off my high horse now...
I'm so very excited for the new We The Kings album. The songs that they've put out so far, are sort of similar to their debut album. I'm hoping for some different stuff. If you would like an analogy, if We The Kings is the tree, I'd like to see a twig on an already strong branch that is frequently used for climbing.
Did that work for you?
Good.
Alright, I have to get back to studying!
Much love always,
Amanda
Monday, November 9, 2009
It's been seven years...
I promise that after this blog entry, I'll try to stop with the depressing and philosophical entries for a while.
But when I was checking my email, I noticed that one of the headlines for Yahoo! News was 'D.C. Sniper's Tragic Legacy'. So I clicked.
If you're wonder what this has to do with anything, I'll tell you. When I was in 4th grade, John Allen Muhammad and his accomplice Lee Boyd Malvo killed 9 people on their sniper spree. Many of the shootings were near my home and happening to ordinary people. None of these people did the snipers know. They didn't care about any of these individuals. One of which, was 13. Another, my best friend's mother saw vaccuuming her car at a gas station across the street (in Kensington, MD) from the gas station that she was at. Later after she left, the woman was shot.
I recall a few things about this event. First, I rememeber not really knowing what was going on. When teachers and parents and adminsitrators and police were finally formally presented with what was happening, I remember being taken out of school early. I went to an after school program. There, we were to wait until our parents came. It was much like September 11 in a way, which had only been a year before. Either way, now that I think about it, I'm lucky to have my friends and family (since I have family members who worked close to the Pentagon) still with me.
That day it was like a rumor flying around school. We, the students, had absolutely no idea what was going on. It wasn't snowing. It couldn't possibly be snowing. It was October. And the power wasn't out. Why were we being released early? Why are there room parents escorting kids to their buses?
Of course the teachers weren't sure what to tell us. Again, just like September 11. How do you tell 700 Elementary schoolers that there is a sniper in the area? I don't know.
My mother eventually picked me up, and we went straight home. My mother had always been honest with me, even at a young age. I was always pretty mature for my age anyways. She told me, in a short hand way, what was going on. We stayed in the back of the house, away from the street side of my house, and watched the news. I while my mother called relatives and my father, to tell everyone we were okay, I watched the DC Cheif of Police debreif the public. I can't remember what he said, but I can remember that he was serious.
The second thing I recall was memorizing the number you called if you saw anything suspicious. Especially if it involved a white utilities van. I also remember one of my friend's mother being impressed when I recieted it for her. After a day or two, we were able to go back to school. However, we were in code blue status for a few weeks. You were not allowed to leave you classroom without an adult or enter or leave the school. There were mothers who were apart of the PTA who worked at a table in the front hall. They were to keep track of everyone who entered and left the building. We had indoor recess for a month.
And lastly, I remember lying in bed at night and thinking that if I lied still enough, and the snipers were to come through my neighborhood, they wouldn't be able to tell that I was there. If I did move, or were lying on my side, they would somehow be able to see though my wall and possibly shoot. My parent's room was in the back of the house, and my room was on the street side. I could ask why the sniper would decide to drive through the neighborhoods of Bethesda, but looking at the other places they'd been, I could also ask why not? More over, I would hope that if they did shoot, since my bed isn't too high up (but higher up than normal beds), they might miss me and I'd be okay.
Is that really what a fourth grader should be thinking about? No. Is it what I thought about? Yes. It's sobering to think about.
Tomorrow at 9 PM, John Allen Muhammad will be executed by lethal injection.
The part that troubles me, and where I find myself writing this, is the fact that I only started to think about the sniper attacks the other day. I wondered what had happened to them. Had they been executed? I know that Malvo was only a teenager. And both murders they were having troubling finding a way to try them in a state that still had the death penalty. Muhammad was tried in Virginia and from what I can find, Malvo is still alive and is being tried in Maryland.
I saw a picture of Muhammad. Part of me feels like I'm looking into the eyes of someone who killed my best friend. I feel anger and I feel sadness. But he never killed my best friend. I think the reason I feel those things, is because of the fear he was able to instill over the 5.4 million people in my region. I feel anger because of the things he had me worrying about when I was nine. A nine year old shouldn't be thinking about the possibility of death while they lie in their bed. A home is a safe haven. I feel anger for how he took away that security.And not just from me, but from all of us.
It's been seven years and I still don't know what to think about what he did. Like September 11, I will forever remember where I was during the sniper attacks.
Maybe the families who lost during that time will find a peace with his execution. My heart goes out to all of those families.
Maybe we'll all find some sort of peace.
Love,
Amanda
But when I was checking my email, I noticed that one of the headlines for Yahoo! News was 'D.C. Sniper's Tragic Legacy'. So I clicked.
If you're wonder what this has to do with anything, I'll tell you. When I was in 4th grade, John Allen Muhammad and his accomplice Lee Boyd Malvo killed 9 people on their sniper spree. Many of the shootings were near my home and happening to ordinary people. None of these people did the snipers know. They didn't care about any of these individuals. One of which, was 13. Another, my best friend's mother saw vaccuuming her car at a gas station across the street (in Kensington, MD) from the gas station that she was at. Later after she left, the woman was shot.
I recall a few things about this event. First, I rememeber not really knowing what was going on. When teachers and parents and adminsitrators and police were finally formally presented with what was happening, I remember being taken out of school early. I went to an after school program. There, we were to wait until our parents came. It was much like September 11 in a way, which had only been a year before. Either way, now that I think about it, I'm lucky to have my friends and family (since I have family members who worked close to the Pentagon) still with me.
That day it was like a rumor flying around school. We, the students, had absolutely no idea what was going on. It wasn't snowing. It couldn't possibly be snowing. It was October. And the power wasn't out. Why were we being released early? Why are there room parents escorting kids to their buses?
Of course the teachers weren't sure what to tell us. Again, just like September 11. How do you tell 700 Elementary schoolers that there is a sniper in the area? I don't know.
My mother eventually picked me up, and we went straight home. My mother had always been honest with me, even at a young age. I was always pretty mature for my age anyways. She told me, in a short hand way, what was going on. We stayed in the back of the house, away from the street side of my house, and watched the news. I while my mother called relatives and my father, to tell everyone we were okay, I watched the DC Cheif of Police debreif the public. I can't remember what he said, but I can remember that he was serious.
The second thing I recall was memorizing the number you called if you saw anything suspicious. Especially if it involved a white utilities van. I also remember one of my friend's mother being impressed when I recieted it for her. After a day or two, we were able to go back to school. However, we were in code blue status for a few weeks. You were not allowed to leave you classroom without an adult or enter or leave the school. There were mothers who were apart of the PTA who worked at a table in the front hall. They were to keep track of everyone who entered and left the building. We had indoor recess for a month.
And lastly, I remember lying in bed at night and thinking that if I lied still enough, and the snipers were to come through my neighborhood, they wouldn't be able to tell that I was there. If I did move, or were lying on my side, they would somehow be able to see though my wall and possibly shoot. My parent's room was in the back of the house, and my room was on the street side. I could ask why the sniper would decide to drive through the neighborhoods of Bethesda, but looking at the other places they'd been, I could also ask why not? More over, I would hope that if they did shoot, since my bed isn't too high up (but higher up than normal beds), they might miss me and I'd be okay.
Is that really what a fourth grader should be thinking about? No. Is it what I thought about? Yes. It's sobering to think about.
Tomorrow at 9 PM, John Allen Muhammad will be executed by lethal injection.
The part that troubles me, and where I find myself writing this, is the fact that I only started to think about the sniper attacks the other day. I wondered what had happened to them. Had they been executed? I know that Malvo was only a teenager. And both murders they were having troubling finding a way to try them in a state that still had the death penalty. Muhammad was tried in Virginia and from what I can find, Malvo is still alive and is being tried in Maryland.
I saw a picture of Muhammad. Part of me feels like I'm looking into the eyes of someone who killed my best friend. I feel anger and I feel sadness. But he never killed my best friend. I think the reason I feel those things, is because of the fear he was able to instill over the 5.4 million people in my region. I feel anger because of the things he had me worrying about when I was nine. A nine year old shouldn't be thinking about the possibility of death while they lie in their bed. A home is a safe haven. I feel anger for how he took away that security.And not just from me, but from all of us.
It's been seven years and I still don't know what to think about what he did. Like September 11, I will forever remember where I was during the sniper attacks.
Maybe the families who lost during that time will find a peace with his execution. My heart goes out to all of those families.
Maybe we'll all find some sort of peace.
Love,
Amanda
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